By Michael Neill, CSE
This is our last "missional Monday." I have enjoyed the opportunity to expand on this topic that I first introduced at
CUES Symposium: A CEO/Chairman Exchange in February. I hope you have enjoyed the material as much as I have enjoyed sharing it. Additionally, thanks for the tremendous response to both my presentation and these follow-up "Missional Monday" blog posts. Your encouraging comments and the large volume of traffic for each of my blog posts is very humbling.
I saved the most difficult of our topics for last. Missional leaders are introspective. I don’t think introspection can be taught, but people can develop it in themselves. I believe healthy introspection is one of the most important characteristics of leadership, one that is rarely mentioned. I'll define introspection as making the effort to perceive your words and actions as others perceive them.
Tactless jerks are basically people with very little introspection. They believe if they say their version of the truth, the loudest, the longest and in the most public forum, they are more truthful. They almost think of themselves as martyrs: “They can all be mad at me if they want, but someone has to say the truth.” Hey Sparky, how about you tell someone what you think, qualify it as such, and do so in a civil manner, privately? How hard is that to grasp?
I recall a CEO in one of my planning meetings throwing a balled up piece of paper at an employee who responded to my request to share their concerns about sales culture. The CEO yelled, "That's the stupidest comment I ever heard," and whipped the paper ball at the manager. Tears welled up in her eyes, responding to the humiliation. The CEO found nothing wrong with his behavior. "If you say stupid stuff out loud, don’t expect me to respond well," was his perspective.
The challenge for this "leader" and anyone who does not practice introspective behaviors is they are cut off from dissent, criticism and debate. Thus they create a "cone of silence" that allows them to affirm there is never any opposition to their view of things.
One doesn’t have to be a paper thrower to get the same result. This passive-aggressive approach would too: "Rick told me that he was very upset with your comments in the meeting yesterday and that you shouldn’t expect him to support any budget requests if you are going to make him look bad."
For those who would like to affirm or test their introspective abilities, here are a few questions to ask yourself that will help you live out the credit union’s core values and service promises in every situation.
- Do I use good language and tone of voice in meetings and in every situation?
- Do I speak to everyone, regardless of position and rank?
- Do I take a genuine interest in those who work with me?
- Am I respectful to those who can do nothing for me in return?
- Do I separate a person's good behavior from their negative actions?
- Do I think about what I said and how I said it to think how could I have said it better and/or more effectively?
- Do I apologize, without making excuses, when I make a mistake?
- Do I attempt to serve as the ideal model of what I expect from others?
- Can I receive constructive criticism and hold my response until I have had time to evaluate the validity of the comment?
We need more introspective leaders who don’t need to be "coached upward" by one of their staff members. Introspective leaders sell their ideas without threats, hyperbole and politics. They model humility, wisdom, confidence and authenticity and, by doing so, make those around them want to follow.
I wish for each of you a missional life.
Michael Neill, CSE, is president of Michael Neill and Associates, Atlanta.
Read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 and part 6 of the missional leadership series.
Learn more about ServiStar, a joint offering of CUES and Michael Neill and Associates.